A true statement is that nobody truly knows how to declare their love for someone. It’s beautiful, raw, exciting, terrifying, and thrilling to navigate the hazy, terrifying, thrilling waters of a new relationship. The verbal assurance that the heart you are increasingly putting on the line will be safe is something you crave as much as a commitment from your newfound love.
But nothing extinguishes the fire of new love faster than making extravagant promises too soon, and nothing sends you into a panic attack faster than not knowing how someone truly feels about you. You want to express your feelings, but you don’t want to be too hasty with declarations that might imply promises you’re not yet ready to make. What a pickle, you say?
It turns out that showing someone you love them is something you do, not something you say. It is possible to choose, alter, and manipulate one’s words, but one’s deeds, as they say, speak for themselves. You can never be sure if someone loves you—really loves you—just because they say they do or don’t. Words are by nature empty until time, facts, and experience fill them with truth.
It can be frustrating to try to guess how someone feels about you when it’s too early to express feelings like “I love you,” but it all really comes down to how poorly we are able to interpret and understand nonverbal cues. In our daily lives, there are countless small ways that people subtly express their concern. Additionally, once you begin to notice all the small gestures, concessions, favors, and interests that others make and accept when they are around you, you won’t require those promises to let you know that you are loved.
The following are 14 nonverbal ways that people can express their love for you.
- Even when they aren’t overtly flirtatious, they regularly reach out to you to talk.
It usually means that they are very interested in you and don’t want to blow it by being too obvious or scaring you away, even though it may seem like the opposite is the case. It’s a common stance taken by individuals who are in love but are afraid to express it. Look out for it. When the time is right for you, you’ll know. - They treat you with the utmost humanity and simplicity.
If you are tired, they advise you to rest, and they wish you a restful night’s sleep. They share their jacket with you or let you rest on their shoulder. They check to make sure you didn’t forget to eat dinner (not because you’re helpless, but because you’re so busy doing awesome things that sometimes you don’t give yourself the time and care you need, and they care about your well-being). They lead the way home. If you need water, they inquire. The desire to genuinely care for someone can be mistaken for merely being courteous, but it is unconditional love in its most unrestrained manifestation. - They listen to your music and share their own with you.
Because the music that moves people the most expresses what they truly want to say (but don’t feel they can) it is the first and most intimate thing you can share with someone. Play a mixtape of the songs that your new partner enjoys most, and you’ll understand something about them that you didn’t already know. Intimate, hidden truths about oneself are revealed in this way. Likewise, if they recall, research, or otherwise show interest in your musical preferences, they are merely making an effort to get to know you better on that level as well. - They enquire about the menial particulars of your life.
They are interested in knowing what you ate for lunch and how your class went. Your coworker’s latest drama and what you’re watching tonight. They find these little details amusing because they are the components of who you are. - Even the minor details you mention in passing stick in their minds.
When you truly love someone, you tend to absorb the minute details of who they are and what they do without even realizing it (until one day you discover you can recall details at random while trying not to look completely creepy). - They ask you what you want and talk about the future.
They genuinely want to know things like where you envision yourself in the future, your ideal place to live, and your ideal line of work. They use it to determine whether or not you might get along and whether or not your futures might eventually intersect. - They learn more about the things you cherish the most.
It won’t feel like a sacrifice or anything; they’ll take you out to eat your favorite foods while you watch the movies you love. They are delighted to fulfill your wishes. Their joy appears to be contagious, too.
They give you very light, non-sexual touches.
When it’s cold, they fix your sweater or wrap their arm around you; they take your hand and lead the way. Even in the most non-sexual ways, they just naturally find a way to touch you or be close to you.
They put you through a test.
They will tell you that they are thinking about moving away or that they have found someone they are interested in, even if they don’t mean to. It’s not the cutest way to show you they care, but since we’re all flawed human beings with weird insecurities, we tend to treat each other in this way. They’re actually just attempting to gauge your response, but you’ll take it to mean that they aren’t interested. Keep in mind that you are not the one who is afraid here; rather, it is them.
- They begin to imitate your mannerisms.
The desire to take on the characteristics of those closest to you is a biological instinct. (It has to do with wanting to demonstrate to them that you are a member of their tribe so that they will accept you. It’s not hard to imagine how it would also apply to romance, to be honest. - When necessary (and occasionally when they shouldn’t), they offer their regrets.
An obvious sign that someone cares more about you and their relationship with you than they do about being right is the ability to admit when you’ve made a mistake, were incorrect, or were unkind. Being right is awesome, so they must really love you. And when they apologize, it’s often more out of a desire to hear you say it’s okay than a genuine concern that you will be angry with them. - They frequently express their appreciation for your qualities.
No matter what you do or how little they comprehend it, they will still find it wonderful simply because you did it and it is your thing. Even though they won’t express their love for you outright, they will tell you whatever they want. - They are interested in your past.
They want to understand your origins and your foundation, or at the very least get you interested in responding when they share theirs, by letting you know where you came from. They want to be able to identify your origins for your sporadic Southern accent and understand why your family’s women adore your wild hair. They’re interested in your small victories and the person you were before you realized who you were. This is the most sweet and sociable thing there is. - It’s obvious they’ve been thinking of you. You have a gut feeling.
These are just small gestures that show you they are thinking of you throughout the day, like picking up your favorite snack at the store or sending you a funny GIF or YouTube video. (And hey, “I love you” in the form of Cheetos and cat videos is a life that anyone would be lucky to live. Amen. ).
