Getting that big promotion at work can feel pretty good. Have you ever wondered what the secret to happiness is. As a result of what we learned from fairy tales, once you find the one, you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. You might want to start a family. If not, or if you still get poked in the ribs at family gatherings by relatives asking why you haven’t married yet, it might not be such a bad thing after all. Because unmarried, childless women are, in the opinion of one happiness expert, the most contented group in society.
Unmarried women without children are happier and healthier than their married counterparts, claims Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics. In reality, though, things aren’t quite that simple. There is no one size fits all approach to happiness.
Dolan made the case during a speech at the Hay Festival that traditional life milestones, like marriage and having kids, that we frequently regard as indicators of a successful or accomplished life, don’t always translate to happiness. According to him, women who have never been married or had children are the population subgroup that is the healthiest and happiest. “.
According to The Independent, Dolan stated, “We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother. Happiness by Design, written by Dolan, has achieved great success. He uses data from the American Time Use Survey throughout his writing. Married, single, divorced, separated, and widowed people’s levels of happiness were investigated.
Dolan discovered that single, childless women benefited from living this way, but it would be oversimplified to say that only they are content. The happiness of married people’s lives was also found to be fairly high. Dolan, however, claimed that there were restrictions attached. According to Dolan, “married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is present when they are asked how happy they are,” according to Glamour. When the partner is not there: f***ing miserable. “.
Dolan claimed that men benefit from marriage because it causes them to “calm down. After getting married, men, according to him, “take fewer risks, make more money at work, and live a little longer. But she has to put up with it, and as a result, she passes away earlier than if she had never wed. That strikes me as a little quaint. Nowadays, women’s primary responsibilities are not seen in the home, and many of them continue to work even after getting married and having kids. It’s incredibly sexist to depict women after marriage as merely resentful wives.
However, Dolan did point out that the pressures placed on people to find a spouse, settle down, and have kids may cause unneeded stress or unhappiness.
Living a happy life can be done in any way—right or wrong. People shouldn’t be shamed for wanting to start a family and get married. However, if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t have to answer questions about your future family plans every time you see a distant relative. It’s about living your own life on your terms and ignoring societal norms.