I made the decision to keep my job and career a secret from my children because I didn’t want them to feel ashamed or embarrassed of me. My youngest daughter was naturally curious about my job, so I avoided giving her evasive answers by simply stating that I had a job before changing the subject.
I would take a shower in a public restroom every day before I left for work in order to get clean and avoid raising suspicion with my daughters. They were kept in the dark about the true nature of my work so they could concentrate on their studies without being concerned about me.
Above all, I wanted them to respect themselves and have a good reputation in the community rather than face criticism for having a connection to my line of work, as I had for a large portion of my life.
I purposely chose to keep my job a secret from my children rather than reveal it and possibly bring shame or disgrace upon them. My youngest daughter was very curious about what I did on a daily basis, but whenever she asked, I would give her general responses like “I work” and quickly change the subject.
I took it upon myself to take a shower in a public bathroom before going home every day so that I wouldn’t raise any suspicion in their minds; this way I knew I would come home clean and without questions.
My main goal was for them to be able to concentrate on their studies without being concerned about me. They were primarily concerned with preserving a positive public perception by preventing others from judging them based on my workplace, which has regrettably occurred for the majority of my life experience.
Because I chose to keep my career a secret from my children, I believe that children should always be treated with respect and should never feel ashamed of who they are associated with.
I always felt guilty and ashamed when I saw others succeed in life to a greater degree than I had, which is why I made a promise that whatever money I had would go toward my children’s education. I made the decision that it would be wiser to spend the extra money on books to aid in their intellectual development rather than new clothing. All I asked in return was that they treat me with the utmost respect as a father.
The day before my daughter’s deadline for submitting her college application, I was working as a cleaner but was out of money. Tears streamed down my face at the thought of not being able to give her what she needed, but no one asked how I was feeling or if there was anything they could do for me. The fact that our family was poor and nothing good or extraordinary could ever happen to us added fuel to all of these negative emotions.
Finding out that, despite my best efforts and tireless efforts, I couldn’t give her what she deserved was a crushing blow. Naturally, when we got home and she inquired about the application money once more, I felt even worse about my lack of accomplishment in life and was left gasping for air.
Unexpectedly, my coworkers surrounded me and offered to pay me for the entire day after the shift ended. They insisted they wanted our children to have more opportunities than we did, even when I tried to decline their kind offer, leaving me speechless. I decided at that point to forgo taking a shower after work and instead wore my clothes to my house.
My oldest child, who has already graduated, won’t let her dad work again because of his advanced age. The eldest daughter is working hard while the other two daughters are paying for their college tuition. She drives me there every morning and provides food for the group while we are there because I want to return and help however I can. It’s a lovely gesture from a family that is already outstanding!
She modestly replied that she was appreciative that they had all skipped a meal to support her in obtaining her college education when they questioned her about her motivations for making this gesture. She spoke of her children with a glow of pride, realizing that she could never truly think of herself as a poor man because of them.
Her greatest accomplishment was having children, and it warmed her heart that they had made such great sacrifices for her. She treasured them above all else because she was fully aware that they represented the best investment anyone had ever made.
