The lawyers at Slater and Gordon, a significant law firm in the UK, have dubbed January’s first Monday “Divorce Day,” which is arguably the saddest holiday in the nation. They decided to look into the actual reasons for the divorces after seeing an increase in requests on that particular day. And if you were to assume that adultery was the main cause of divorce, you’d be wrong. The most common cause of marital conflict and divorce, according to a survey of 2,000 adults, was financial issues.
Relationship expert Jen Elmquist, MA, LMFT, and author of Relationship Reset: Secrets from a Couples Therapist That Will Revolutionize Your Love for a Lifetime tells Bustle that discussing money can be challenging for couples. “Talking openly about money and sex is one of the most uncomfortable things that couples can do. For a number of reasons, including: It invades their privacy, they feel embarrassed, they feel out of control, they don’t feel educated enough, or they don’t think there is a reason to talk about it, partners may feel like discussing money is taboo. However, discussing your financial health and history is just as important for each partner as discussing your sexual health and history is. Even though talking about money can be uncomfortable, it’s crucial that you can do so with your significant other.
Without these discussions, Elmquist claims, assumptions are made, damaging secrets can be kept, and it is impossible to achieve the freedom of being known and accepted. “Financial mismanagement betrayal can be traumatic and have an impact on a relationship much like infidelity. In order to ensure that there is some accountability moving forward, recovering frequently calls for the assistance of a couples therapist and a financial planner. “.
Money can cause stress in a relationship in a variety of ways, but Slater and Gordon discovered that this was not the only marital problem. The top 10 problems sending relationships into separationville are listed below.
Pressure from finances: 22%.
Yes, more than one in five chose the time-tested option of financial pressure. Couples fight over money on a regular basis, whether it’s because they don’t have enough, one partner spends too much, or there are differences in how they should manage their finances.
Workplace Stress: 21%.
Although money is the primary cause of divorce, it’s interesting to note that workplace stress came in second. Work stress was a significant issue for more than one fifth of respondents, just 1% less popular than money problems.
Domestic Responsibilities: 16%.
Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter, or the little things that add up to something very significant. Household duties were ranked third, so it stands to reason that a clean home would likely make people happier.
14% of couples report not spending enough time together.
There isn’t much that can replace quality time, and if you don’t have any, your relationship may start to suffer. It makes sense that 14% of respondents claimed that a lack of quality time together resulted in significant relationship tension.
14 percent of people lack sex.
It’s critical to maintain that spark. Unsurprisingly, 14% of respondents claimed that their inability to have sex was causing them to grow apart. If you’re a sexual person, the intimacy can ruin a relationship. Furthermore, it can be difficult to get back into the habit once you break it.
12 percent of disputes are over relatives.
We all should be able to get along, but it seems impossible because in 13% of cases, relatives were the main source of conflict.
Their Partner Isn’t Romantic: 11%.
A partner no longer showing them affection is the main issue, according to 11% of respondents. Intimacy, sex, thoughtfulness, and just being a decent person all seem to be covered by that, in my opinion.
9% have various interests.
Even though you ought to maintain your independence in a relationship, you should share some interests. Diverse interests were the death knell for 9% of people.
Parenting Disagreements: 7 percent.
Since raising children is not always easy, I was not surprised to learn that 7 percent of respondents’ disagreements about parenting were sufficient to cause them to break up.
