My son, who is just shy of two years old, does not yet have a vocabulary that is extensive enough to convey everything he wants to say. He’s getting there, and as my fellow parents know, it’s super-cute and exciting to watch him pick up new words and incorporate them into his constantly expanding vocabulary.
As a result, I frequently introduce new ideas, ask questions that he isn’t prepared to answer, and point out objects in the space that he is unfamiliar with.
One of those ideas is saying sorry, and as a mother who makes plenty of mistakes, I’ve given my son plenty of chances to learn how to do it. Truthfully, there are times when a parent should apologize to their child, and your child can learn a lot when you act like a responsible adult and express regret.
My own personal philosophy is that if and when I mess up, I need to admit it and, yes, that means asking for forgiveness from a toddler who is already too preoccupied with cheese to even notice that I’m talking to him. I want him to understand this idea clearly so that he can accept responsibility for his mistakes when the inevitable time comes. I also want my son to understand that he is respected enough to receive an apology, even and especially when it comes from a higher authority. Of course, there are other situations in which my son might get upset or angry, for which I will most certainly not be making excuses. He doesn’t understand, so when I do something that is really for his advantage, he gets upset. I won’t apologize to him in those situations. Sincerity be damned, it’s all a balancing act (just like every other aspect of parenting), and while it can be draining at times, it’s also incredibly helpful and advantageous for everyone involved.
Here are 11 instances in which you should without a doubt apologize to your child and a few instances in which you shouldn’t. Making mistakes and apologizing doesn’t have to be the worst thing because, as parents, we’re not perfect and with every flaw comes a chance to teach our children something.
When you interpret their cues to cuddle incorrectly.
Numerous times, I’ve been convinced that my son wanted to cuddle because of the adorable way he was sleeping, reaching for me, or acting in the way he does when he most definitely wants to cuddle, only to find out that he doesn’t want to be touched at all. I strongly believe that my son (and everyone else, for that matter) should have complete bodily autonomy, so I should apologize profusely whenever I cross a line that I wasn’t aware I was crossing.
When you consume the food that they were unquestionably going to consume.
I don’t know about you, but if I take that last chicken nugget off of my kid’s plate after he ate everything else around it haphazardly for fifteen minutes, he’ll be the most upset. It’s not like I’m stealing my kids’ food on purpose, but it could happen, and if it does, I’ll apologize.
When You Smash One Of Their Favorite Playthings.
They’re for kids who like to throw things and test things, so why on earth do toy manufacturers make kids’ toys so damn breakable in the first place?
When you ignore what they are clearly asking for despite their amazing communication skills.
Oh, of course you’re asking for the fruit pouch that’s lying openly on the counter rather than the milk, pacifier, elephant plush toy, or four board books that I’ve offered you in their place. Oops. I apologize.
When their favorite YouTube video is too much for you to handle and you have to turn it off for your own sanity.
Since we monitor screen time anyway, I must admit that I don’t always apologize for this one. I also don’t want him to feel as though he is entitled to it or that it must be an ongoing, regular part of his daily routine. However, in reality, I occasionally act a little sheepish when he is being laid back and nowhere near reaching his screen limit, and I’m only objecting because it’s driving me crazy.
When You Affect Their Feelings.
For this one, guys, I’m prepared. I believe it’s only a matter of time before I accidentally make my toddler feel anything other than blissfully happy. My toddler is only just starting to show signs of having all the feels. When that inevitable day arrives, I’ll be sincerly apologizing and, you know, probably drowning in that dreaded mom-guilt that I’ve never been able to shake.
When you are too preoccupied trying to build the tallest block tower possible to notice that someone else is bored and not doing anything else.
Oh, right. It’s probably a good idea for me to include you in the playtime as well. I’m sorry, son.
When you’ve forgotten your snacks at home.
The regret I am currently experiencing cannot be adequately expressed in words. I am the one who is supposed to give my child food because I know he is hungry and is asking me for something to eat. Really, it’s the worst.
When They Wanted To See The Garbage Truck Drive By The Window But You Were Too Slow To Lift Them Up And All They Caught Were Tail Lights At The End Of The Block.
Son, I’m sorry. Holy hell you are getting way too heavy for me to lift you up without first considering proper posture and lifting with my knees and not my back and, okay, I am just too old for this. Mom will start working out so this doesn’t happen again.
